Is anger ever strategic?

The best managers do not aim to be angry but they insist on being direct even when being direct is going to make some people uncomfortable.

Okay, now we dive into a controversial topic. Direct, honest communication has many benefits, but how aggressive can a manager be without seeming angry? Or is it okay to be angry? Some managers simply don’t care: if they come across as angry, so be it, they insist on being direct even when being direct is going to make some people uncomfortable.

Here is a true story about two men I’ve worked with several times over the course of several years. I’m going to call them Armsdale and Gary. This story took place years ago when Armsdale and Gary met for the first time. (I got this story from Gary.)

A company I'll call Centauri was in trouble, with a technology modernization project that had become hopelessly mired down by in-fighting and bureaucracy, and so, to rescue the situation, Centauri called in a great devops engineer, Gary, to help on the tech side, and they called in a great business consultant, Armsdale, to energize the teams who were doing the work.

Part of the modernization project involved a new data system, with a new set of permissions and roles regarding who would be allowed to see what data. The project had been scheduled to launch in March, but given the internal chaos of the company, April arrived and the new tech stack still wasn't operational. So Armsdale called Gary into a meeting.

Armsdale: Have you set up the servers with the new Oracle databases?

Gary: Yes, the servers are running and the software is installed.

Armsdale: If that's true, what's the roadblock that keeps us from using this in production?

Gary: Mostly it's a matter of security. I don't know what roles or permissions we need in production. And the software assumes the existence of certain teams, users, and permissions.

Armsdale: That’s what’s blocking you? Who did you talk to about this?

Gary: I talked to the lead engineer, but they didn’t know what roles or permissions would be needed on the business side.

Armsdale: So go talk to the business side. Do you realize we are running a month late?

Gary: My point of contact on the business side was Sally, the project manager, but she recently quit. I don’t know who is going to replace her.

Armsdale: Well, why don't you find out! Do you even care that we're running a month late?

Gary: I've spoken to Meetra Patel, who used to manage Sally, but she doesn't know either.

Armsdale: God damn it, someone has to know! Track it down! The databases are your job, and so everything related to setting up the databases is your job! Do your job!

Gary: Well, if Sally is gone and Meetra doesn’t know, then who the hell am I going to ask?

Armsdale: Who does Meetra report to?

Gary: I don’t know!

Armsdale: Why don’t you know?

Gary: I guess I didn’t ask!

Armsdale: Well, why the hell didn’t you ask?

Gary: I guess I assumed they’d eventually get back to me, when they made a decision!

Armsdale: Who? Who makes the decision?

Gary: I don’t know!

Armsdale: So do need me to micromanage this situation? Do you want me to be your secretary and track down everyone you need to talk to?

Gary: I assume Meetra will put me in touch with the right people as soon as a decision has been made.

Armsdale: And when will that be?

Gary: I don’t know!

Armsdale: But the project is a month late!

Gary: I know that!

Armsdale: You know it but you don’t care! I don’t need people on this project if they don’t care about the deadline! I’ve been brought in to make sure this project is on time and on budget! You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem, and right now you are not part of the solution!

Gary: I got the basic database servers set up! That’s a start!

Armsdale: That’s not good enough! I am fighting to get this project back on schedule! I need everyone to help achieve that goal, or I need them to clear out and stop being such deadweight.

Gary: Okay, okay, okay! So you want me to start asking around?

Armsdale: I want you to do your job!

Gary: But this means I start calling around, or sending email, or chatting with folks, trying to track down who might have this information?

Armsdale: And? Do you need me to hold your hand? Do I have to teach you how to use a phone or the email or the chat system?

Gary: Okay, let’s be clear, I’m working as a contractor here, and I am fairly expensive. I’m billing you guys for every hour that I work. I bill $200 an hour. I don’t usually attempt to navigate my way through a company’s bureaucracy. I can do that, but I have not often been asked to do that. I usually stick to databases. I usually wait till some project manager has tracked down what I need, and then I get to work on the databases. But if you want me to start calling around and trying to figure out who is the correct person that I should talk to, I can do that. But I’ll be charging $200 an hour when I do that.

Armsdale: You’re expensive. I get that. I am also expensive. If you don’t take action then I have to take action. We’re both expensive. This company has money to spend, they can pay us even though we’re expensive.

Gary: Okay, but I need you to confirm that this expense is okay? I can bill for this?

Armsdale: Yes, bill for the hours you work. Do you really think your invoice is the main problem that this company is facing? You say you charge $200 an hour? So if you work for us full-time, and you bill a full 40 hours a week, then we have to pay you $8,000 a week? So that’s $32,000 a month? Do you know what it is costing this company to run a month late on this project? About $20 million dollars. That’s how much the company loses, not having the new system in place. So compared to $20 million a month, do you think your $32,000 is expensive?

Gary: I guess not.

Armsdale: You guess not?

Gary: Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I’m not really expensive. Not compared to what they are losing. So does that mean you want me to play the role of the project manager?

Armsdale: No, but I do want you to figure out who the relevant people are. Somewhere in this company there is a project manager who knows what decisions have been made about permissions and roles and teams. Someone, somewhere, knows the answers to your questions. I want you to find that person.

Gary: Uh, okay. I will try to track this person down.

Armsdale: Tell me you got this. With absolute certainty. Tell me I no longer have to worry about this.

Gary: I got this. You no longer have to worry about this.

Armsdale: Thank you!

So Gary got busy trying to find the person who could answer his questions. First he spoke to Meetra, who put him in touch with her boss, Kwan-Li, but Kwan-Li had no visibility into the design decisions that were shaping the new data system. One possibility was that the CEO would know, so Gary scheduled a brief conversation with the CEO. But it turned out the CEO did not know the specifics, but instead had delegated all of the decisions to the Business Intelligence team. The previous leader of the team had just been fired and a guy named Ackerman had been promoted in his place.

So Gary reached out to Ackerman. And Ackerman said he’d get back in touch soon. Several days went by. Gary reached out to Ackerman every day, but each day Ackerman either postponed giving an answer or did not respond at all.

And so ten days went by, and then Armsdale asked for another meeting with Gary.

Armsdale: How are we doing with the databases? Please give me some good news.

Gary: I have not made any progress so far.

Armsdale: ARE YOU GOD DAMN KIDDING ME?

Gary: Listen, I have talked to everyone who might have an answer. I talked to Meetra, I talked to her boss Kwan-Li, and I even talked to the CEO.

Armsdale: And?

Gary: And they told me I had to go talk to the guy who is head of the Business Intelligence team.

Armsdale: And?

Gary: And he hasn’t gotten back to me yet.

Armsdale: IN TEN DAYS THE HEAD OF THE BUSINESS INTELLIGENCE TEAM HAS NOT GOTTEN BACK TO YOU?

Gary: Absolutely not.

Armsdale: AND YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS ACCEPTABLE?

Gary: What do you want me to do?

Armsdale: I WANTED YOU TO GET THE INFORMATION THAT YOU NEEDED AND YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULD DO IT!

Gary: I have asked him every single day. I don’t know what else I can do!

Armsdale: Who is this?

Gary: Ackerman.

Armsdale: Wait, what? Are you kidding me? Ackerman? Frank Ackerman?

Gary: That’s right, they just recently put Ackerman in charge of Business Intelligence.

Armsdale: That god damned son of a bitch!

Gary: Why? Do you know Ackerman?

Armsdale: Yes, I know Ackerman.

Gary: What’s the problem with Ackerman?

Armsdale: Oh, don’t get me started. There are a lot of problems with Ackerman.

Gary: Okay, so what do you want me to do? How should I handle him?

There was a long silence as Armsdale thought about what to do next.

Armsdale: Why does it have to be Ackerman?

Gary: How do you know him?

Armsdale: I worked with him once, years ago, at another company.

Gary: I take it he did a bad job?

Armsdale: They had to fire him. I actually helped get him fired.

Gary: What’d he do?

Armsdale: Oh, he did a hundred things, but mostly he was just slow and stupid and incompetent and annoying and oddly pedantic at exactly the wrong moments.

Gary: Well, why did they hire him here?

Armsdale: I don’t know, but he is good at selling himself. That’s the only thing he’s good at. Can’t sell anything else for shit, but he damn well knows how to sell himself.

Gary: And that’s why they promoted him?

Armsdale: I guess. And it’s a big mistake.

Gary: What do we do now?

Armsdale: Well, at some point I’ve got to go meet with the CEO and warn them about Ackerman.

Gary: Okay, sounds good. But what should I do right now?

Another long silence ensued, as Armsdale thought about what should happen next.

Armsdale: Wait, I’ll call him.

(Phone rings.)

Ackerman: Hello, this is Ackerman.

Armsdale: Hi, this is Armsdale.

Ackerman: This is… Armsdale? Robert Armsdale?

Armsdale: That’s correct.

Ackerman: Oh, sure, okay, sure. I heard you had joined the firm.

Armsdale (mildly sarcastic): Well, gosh, you know how things go. Projects run late, deadlines are missed, teams are in chaos, so they call me in to try to fix things.

Ackerman: They call you in to… right. I mean, right.

Armsdale (mildly sarcastic): And, golly, here we are again, creating shareholder value.

Ackerman: Uh, that’s right. Here we are again.

Armsdale (fully serious): Right now I’m working to set up the new database and data system, but listen, we’re stuck waiting for a list of the teams and permissions that are supposed to come from the Business Intelligence team. We can’t make any progress till we get them. I’m wondering if you can help us get what we need?

Ackerman: Oh, hey Armsdale, yeah, sure, absolutely. I mean, I want to help you. And I am going to help you. But as you know, we are trying to follow Clayton Christensen’s process for innovation, you know, the one that the Christensen Institute advocates for, which, as I’m sure you know, is the one that Christensen first developed and explained in his book The Innovator’s Dilemma, because what this company has been missing is innovation, and not just innovation in some abstract or theoretical sense, no, no, no, it would be a category error to think that we only mean to pursue innovation in some abstract or theoretical sense, but instead what we are going for —

Armsdale: This project is running a month late. I was brought in to get this project, and other projects, back on schedule. And that is what I’m going to do. Do you understand?

Ackerman: Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. You’ve got that old “Armsdale mania” right? You like to go and get things done, no matter what else anyone else is trying to get done. Didn’t they used to call you “Armsdale the maniac?”

Armsdale: No one has ever called me that.

Ackerman: I feel like someone called you that once?

Armsdale: No one has ever called me that.

Ackerman: What did they call you?

Armsdale: I can only remember “Armsdale the project completer” and “Armsdale the deadline respecter.”

Ackerman: I don’t remember those. I don’t remember anyone calling you those things.

Armsdale: Should I remind you what people used to call you?

Ackerman: So what are you calling about? The roles and the permissions? I’m still tinkering with those, but I can probably get them to you by next week.

Armsdale: I need them today.

Ackerman: Oh, that’s just… I mean… sorry, but that is just ridiculous. There is absolutely no way that we…

Armsdale: I need them today.

Ackerman: But there are decisions that we have not yet made, about who gets access to what, so I’m going to have to…

Armsdale: I need them today. Whatever I have in my hands at the end of today is what we are putting into production. We can default to every database table being locked down and then we can open up data when we get a request from a team. We can proceed that way if we have to, but we are going to put into production whatever I have in my hand by the end of today.

Ackerman: You cannot possibly know all of the things that we have thought about when it comes to deciding which teams should be allowed to see what particular data.

Armsdale: I’m comfortable making those decisions, on the fly, as requests come in. I’m happy to make every decision myself, if that is what is needed to get this project back on schedule.

Ackerman: I don’t think you’ve been authorized to make those decisions.

Armsdale: Someone has to make those decisions, and those decisions need to be made by the end of today.

Ackerman: I think the CEO wanted me to make those decisions.

Armsdale: I’ll go to the CEO and explain the entire situation to him. And I do mean the entire situation. I can go back in time as far as needed to give him the whole picture. What do you think he’ll say?

Ackerman: Um, okay, ha ha ha, right, right, that’s uh, that’s great. That’s a great idea. That’s really great. I love… I mean, right.

Armsdale: I need everything you have by the end of today. Do you understand?

Ackerman: Yes, sure, absolutely. This is an emergency and I should take it seriously. Right, totally. I get it.

Armsdale: So you’ll send me what you have today?

Ackerman: Uh… well… uh… yes. Yes. Absolutely. I’m sending you what I have by the end of today.

Armsdale: Great!

And he hung up.

And, an hour later, Ackerman sent over everything he had.

Not every decision had been made, so there were blank spots that Armsdale and Gary had to fill in, but they spent 30 minutes reviewing the documents, they made all needed decisions, and they were ready to go. Over the next two days, Gary completed all of the work he needed to do to enable the new databases for production use.

As unlikely as it seems, this was the start of a beautiful business relationship. Armsdale thereafter trusted Gary and called him in to a dozen different companies to help with a dozen different rescue missions. And Gary appreciated Armsdale’s sometimes rough but direct approach to solving problems immediately.

The goal is to be direct, not angry, but also you should not care if people think you are angry

In my experience, no one wants to work for a manager who is unable to control their emotions. And most of the managers who think they are being strategic in their use of manipulative tactics are in fact much more clumsy than they realize, so these tactics backfire more often than they help.

So do I think Armsdale was making a mistake by acting the way he did? No, but I think he offers an interesting lesson. He was being direct, and he simply didn’t care if he came across as angry. It mattered that he was honestly committed to the success of the project. He wasn’t simply indulging his ego, nor was he merely venting his frustration, but rather, he was pushing to find out the real problem so he could solve it. At first he thought Gary was the problem, but then he realized that Ackerman was the problem, at which point Armsdale was willing to push Ackerman hard, to get an immediate resolution to the problems that had stalled the project.

In an ideal world every employee would get their job done, on time and in a professional manner, but we do not live in an ideal world. Anyone in a leadership position has to both encourage people, but also has to set firm boundaries, and has to enforce firm deadlines. And sometimes that means being direct in a way that will make other people uncomfortable.

In summary, anger is never strategic, insofar as your goal should never be anger by itself. But you will never be a good leader until you are comfortable being direct. And you cannot worry about whether that directness is making other people uncomfortable. It is up to them, as mature adult professionals, to manage their own comfort or discomfort. It is up to you to hold them to professional standards, and to expect a professional level of directness from them.